Winnipeggers - Big Men and their Big Trucks

Why is it that every morning on my way to work - no matter how early I leave - I always have to deal with some truck plummeting through the streets of Winnipeg. Yes Mr. Big Man, we know you have a Big Truck, and that all us wee people in our wee vehicles are slowing you from peeling to work in under 5 minutes. Just because you own a truck with big tires, doesn't mean that you own the road; or especially that you are a good driver.

I am obsessed with having to get a visual of these drivers. Why... I don't know? Especially considering they all look the same. Of course they have a mustache because for some reason Big Men in Winnipeg all feel the need to sport a a small animal above their lip, somehow preserving their manhood. I often think these guys feel they can grow hair on their bodies by sure will - just because their hormones rage with such high levels of testosterone being such big men.

Next, they always have one hand hanging loosely over the rim of the steering wheel, so casual in their destruction of the flow of traffic. These He-men all have a smug look about them - knowing that at any moment they can call upon their "steel battlecat" to devour the Winnipeg cars in front of them. And of course, they all have a decal of "Calvin and Hobbs" peeing on some competitor's line of trucks - a clear indication that if you followed this guy home you'd end up in the heart of Transcona. Not to mention, if he has his window down that you'll hear him blaring Power 97 - a radio station catered to Winnipeg's mullet population.

Oh well Winnipeggers, there is much humour to draw from these Neanderthals. As my wife and I joke, "whoa, look out people... we got a real man here." So to all you "real men" know that all you are is real annoying.